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Los Angeles-based nondenominational megachurch Mosaic has a storied history in how it handles LGBTQ+ issues. Many queer individuals have professed an inviting and warm environment \u2500 but for singer-songwriter Sarah Hollins, and countless others, the experience was downright toxic. \u201c[My friends and I] personally witnessed or experienced homophobia, lack of inclusivity, and ostracizing from members within the church and felt obligated to speak up about it,\u201d the New Jersey native tells Audiofemme.<\/p>\n

Last summer, Hollins participated in an episode<\/a> of Refinery29\u2019s \u201cState of Grace,\u201d a series which analyzes faith and identity. She was not publicly out at the time, but the decision to bare her heart on-camera is truly an act of bravery. \u201cIt was honestly really terrifying, and I didn’t know how my family was going to handle it. Even though it was so scary and stressful to come out in such a public way, I’m so glad that I did it,\u201d she says. \u201cIt kickstarted a whole year of change for me, including my first relationship with a girl that I was able to lead in my public life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Like so many before her, Hollins held her secret tightly in her heart for a very long time. It was a long, winding journey she needed to take, and only now has finally discovered new-found peace. \u201cSo many people – even past therapists – over the years told me that I would feel so much better once I came out and that I would feel a huge weight lifted, but the fear of coming out kept me closeted for a long time,\u201d she offers. \u201cI have to say, they were definitely right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cObviously, it’s not always safe for everyone to come out, and I definitely recognize the privileges I had of having a support system and relatively minor pushback from my family,\u201d she continues, \u201cbut I would really recommend coming out. I’m such a happier person, and so many people who’ve known me my whole life have told me it’s the first time they’ve seen me truly happy and joyful.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her new song \u201cStarlight,\u201d premiering today, arrives with tremendous emotional baggage. \u201cThey all said it couldn\u2019t ever feel like this \/ They all said it\u2019s only hers and his,\u201d she sings, her voice gliding through fuzzy electric guitar. \u201cThey all said I\u2019m dead or better off that way \/ If my stupid head fell in love with her pretty face.\u201d<\/p>\n