<\/a><\/p>\n

Rihanna is doing everything I am not.<\/p>\n

\u201cWork, work, work, work, work, work\/You see me I be work, work, work, work, work, work,\u201d she barks through the caf\u00e9 sound system \u2013 as if she knows<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Another sunny day in the neighborhood. It is loping along at a drowsy pace. Parks are barren \u2013 full of empty benches. There is no line at the post office, and my favorite corner in the local coffee shop is dutifully awaiting me. I\u2019m not dreaming. I\u2019m not lucky. I am unemployed. And it\u2019s just a weekday.<\/p>\n

As luck would have it, I\u2019ve been laid off three times in the past three years. Downsizing, outsourcing, budget cuts, project fulfillment \u2013 I\u2019ve seen it all, and yet each time it hits me like an uppercut\u2026like getting dumped when you thought everything was going awesome. And everything was going awesome\u2026until it wasn\u2019t anymore.<\/p>\n

Another song comes on: Elvis Costello\u2019s embittered \u201cWelcome To The Working Week\u201d off 1977\u2019s My Aim Is True. <\/em>I envision Costello back in the early \u201870s, working as a data entry clerk for Elizabeth Arden and hating every minute of it. \u201cWelcome to the working week,\u201d he sneers. \u201cOh, I know it don\u2019t thrill you, I hope it don\u2019t kill you\/Welcome to the working week\/You gotta do it till you\u2019re through it, so you better get to it.\u201d The irony of course being that it is the workless week(s) I have to get through now.<\/p>\n

But this time \u2018round I am not alone. It wasn\u2019t long ago when I told my friend M that everything was \u201cgoing to be ok!\u201d M had recently been laid off from her job of five years, and I assured her that she needn\u2019t self-flagellate for collecting unemployment.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe idea that going through a period of unemployment is being lazy or counterproductive to society is bullshit,\u201d I argued. \u201cThat\u2019s just a false, capitalistic construct that a lot of developed countries don\u2019t abide by. Look at Sweden! They get artist grants on the regular! Paternity leave! No one calls the Swedish lazy!\u201d I consoled M with fervor, hoping to empower my hardworking pal who\u2019d fallen on hard times. \u201cYou\u2019re going to LOVE unemployment! Hell, I wish I had been on it longer!\u201d<\/p>\n

Somewhere in the distance, Riri sang and wagged a finger, \u201cWhen you a gon\u2019 learn, learn, learn, learn, learn, learn\u201d? Before I could answer, I was plunged into joblessness. Again. I turned to find that ardent part of myself, the one that I\u2019d dispatched to boost M\u2019s confidence. She was nowhere to be found.<\/p>\n

On Monday, in broad daylight, M and I sat on her couch; updating resumes, drafting emails, and calling the New York State Department of Unemployment Services, which has constructed a densely layered multiverse of automated menu options, dead-end key commands, and spontaneous call terminations. Dante himself could not have imagined this many circles of hell. The Specials\u2019 bristling cover of \u201cMaggie\u2019s Farm\u201d bleated from M\u2019s tablet. I repeatedly punched zero in the hopes of being delivered to a real-time human, but was escorted back to the beginning of the menu options instead.<\/p>\n

Veterans of creative industries get it. Writers, actors, magicians, poets, clowns, and yes, musicians; it\u2019s a hard life making a living. Like Rihanna and Elvis Costello, Dolly Parton knew all about werk<\/em> when she wrote \u201c9 to 5,\u201d singing the sour truth in that sweet, sweet voice: \u201cWorkin\u2019 9 to 5, whoa what a way to make a livin\u2019\/Barely gettin\u2019 by, it\u2019s all takin\u2019 and no givin\u2019\/They just use your mind and they never give you credit\/It\u2019s enough to drive you crazy if you let it.\u201d<\/p>\n