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New York songstress\u00a0Alexa Wilding<\/a>\u00a0has an upcoming EP Wolves<\/em>, which sees a transition from her previously more airy folk music. We sat down and talked about where her inspiration came from for the piece, as well as what sort of transition we can expect from her past work. After taking a few years off from music, Alexa realized the pull toward this art form was stronger than she had previously acknowledged, and she found herself creating music when she needed an outlet. It also provided her with a chance to really focus on herself. This is an EP that saw her through a difficult time in her life\u2014when one of her children was diagnosed with cancer\u2014and both its name and content reflect the changes Alexa underwent.<\/p>\n

Read on below for an interview with her, and keep an eye out for Wolves<\/em>, which is due to release on July 8.<\/p>\n

AudioFemme: Tell me about your musical history, are any of your family members involved in music?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Alexa Wilding: <\/strong>Yeah, I come from a pretty ridiculously arty family. My dad\u2019s parents were well known opera singers. My mom\u2019s an actress, my dad still is a filmmaker, my grandmother was a painter, so needless to say\u2014and my aunt was a ballet dancer\u2014we\u2019re sort of an arty bunch. And music played a pretty big role in my childhood and in my family\u2019s culture really.<\/p>\n

What inspired you to create your new EP Wolves<\/em>?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sort of circumstances I never ever thought I\u2019d be writing a record in. I had twins in 2013. They\u2019re going to be three next month. And unfortunately\u2014well, things are fine now, but my son Lou went through cancer treatment. So the record was written in the most unlikely of places. He\u2019s fine, which is really good for him.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s such a relief.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah, it was crazy. It was really crazy. But you know, becoming a new mother, I wasn\u2019t really sure, like am I going to keep doing music? It\u2019s all I\u2019ve ever done, but I was just so sapped creatively from the wild psychedelia of being a new mother and then we were thrown into this crisis. And basically what it meant was weeks on end for six months, we basically lived in the hospital. We switched off nights, my husband and I, so my son at home always had a parent.<\/p>\n

But for the first round, I was in such a state of shock that I wouldn\u2019t be able to sleep. I would just stare out the window at the East River and be like, \u201cWhere am I? How did this happen?\u201d I was so<\/em> terrified. Then by the second round, I don\u2019t know what happened, but I said, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s it, Alexa. You need to carve some space for yourself.\u201d So I turned to what I always turned to, which is music. I wrote the songs on Wolves<\/em> on a toy piano borrowed from the hospital playroom.<\/p>\n

It was wild. And while my son slept and healed, the songs just came. And mostly it was an escape for me. Like when I tell people that I wrote the songs in these unusual circumstances, they\u2019re like, \u201cOh my God, this must be a really depressing cancer record.\u201d And I\u2019m like, \u201cActually there isn\u2019t even a mention of what was going on.\u201d<\/p>\n

I so needed an escape, and what I did was I really focused on a time in my life right before I became a mother. That year I was touring nonstop and different relationships were kind of coming in and out of my life, so the record was sort of making peace with some of those loose ends, things that were put on hold to become a mother. And by doing that, I was able to become present.<\/p>\n

Pediatricians always joke when you become a parent, and they\u2019re like, \u201cYou know, you\u2019re a parent, you need to put the oxygen mask on you first and then your kid.\u201d And I was always like, \u201cWhat the hell does that mean?\u201d But that\u2019s kind of what I did. So it was very surreal to leave this six-month experience with a cancer-free child, which is obviously the most important thing, but also as an artist, to have these songs that were ready to go. And it was very reaffirming after taking a few years off to be like I don\u2019t really have a choice. I guess making albums is just what I do.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s awesome. I\u2019m so glad he\u2019s okay.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Thank you! Me too, me too.<\/p>\n

So what does your ideal audience to this EP look like?<\/strong><\/p>\n

That\u2019s a good question. People have joked about me that my following are a small but dedicated circle of very well-dressed people.\u00a0I was like, okay, yeah, I like that. I feel like this record in particular is my most accessible one to date. But, that said, it\u2019s the one I find most interesting. So I hope I haven\u2019t sacrificed any of the oddness by having my first full-band record. I think that women in particular, hopefully, will relate to it. I am definitely a 90s kid, so I came of age with Lilith Fair. Kim Deal was like my hero, and Tori Amos and Sarah McLachlan. Ya know, we all laugh because Sarah McLachlan is so dorky now, but I was listening to her recently when I was on a job, and I was like, \u201cThis is good stuff. Everyone\u2019s got to chill out about this. She changed history.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yeah, I agree. There\u2019s something about it where you\u2019re like, this isn\u2019t really a guilty pleasure because I\u2019m not guilty about this.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah, that makes sense! Totally. I loved all that stuff. So I am unabashedly saying and hoping to carry on that tradition of women who, ya know, wrote good songs and knew how to play their instruments and told stories that were very personal to the female experience. And that said, you know, I think more men are actually hopefully going to like the record, too, because it has a masculine side to it as well. It\u2019s really\u2014and this is really stereotypical\u2014but it\u2019s really trying to move. Which I wanted, because the whole idea with Wolves<\/em> was be like, here are these feminine stories that I was trying to summon up in myself, like the wolf, to have the strength to handle my experience. With most of the record, there\u2019s a softness to it, but to be totally blunt, the joke we made in the studio was always, \u201cBoobs and balls, boobs and balls: They have to be in direct proportion, in an even balance.\u201d<\/p>\n

So I feel like it\u2019s my toughest record, in a weird way. And I\u2019m really proud of that because I was getting really sick of, ya know, before and people saying, \u201cOh, it\u2019s just a girl picking her guitar. La-di-da.\u201d<\/p>\n

Right, yeah, that\u2019s kind of insulting.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Or you get up to play a show and people would immediately look at you and before you started and be like, \u201cI know what I\u2019m in for.\u201d And that used to make me crazy.\u00a0I\u2019m hoping it\u2019ll reach a wider audience, and it\u2019s not just the freaky folk thing anymore. When I wrote it, I was listening to a lot of radio and having fun playing with melodies for the first time in a way that I was like, \u201cI want everyone to like this song!\u201d Even the person who\u2019s just tapping their foot, they\u2019ll get that out of it.<\/p>\n

Is there anything you\u2019re hoping that your fans will take away from this piece?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah, I mean obviously I can\u2019t divorce the story of the circumstances in which it was written from the music. And my fans were so supportive during our crisis. Ben Lee, who\u2019s a friend, did fundraising for us.\u00a0So many of my friends used their celebrity to sort of help us. And the story, despite myself, got a lot of attention. And I was really happy to share our story with different media outlets. Because, as Ben said when he started\u2014he did a Plumfund\u2014because something people don\u2019t realize is that I was like, \u201cI\u2019m not<\/em> fundraising. What will people think? We have insurance! Blah blah blah.\u201d But a medical crisis like that really wreaks havoc. Things you don\u2019t even think about, like going to take cabs to and from the hospital every day. So that was really a lifesaver. But what he said was, \u201cThey are us. This could happen to any of us.\u201d And what I\u2019m hoping people get from it is the importance of holding onto yourself during a crisis, whether or not you are a parent. I don\u2019t want to isolate or alienate fans who are not parents, but at the same time I\u2019m pretty sure the record will hold a special place. It really has touched a lot of mothers, at least in New York City a lot of mothers have started following me during this crisis.<\/p>\n

But what I hope fans take away from it is the idea that we can make friends with parts of ourselves that we used to be. I think that\u2019s a lot of what the record is about. I talk a lot about different relationships. There\u2019s one song, \u201cRoad Song,\u201d in which it\u2019s kind of a cinematic song. I mean, it\u2019s basically a woman saying that she wants to be with somebody who\u2019s with somebody. And that was a really scary song for me to write. I had to sort of make peace with that part of myself. We all have that.<\/p>\n

I know I\u2019m talking to a female music blog right now so I can say this, but I think it\u2019s very hard for women to talk about their desire. Men are allowed to say, \u201cI want that!\u201d Or, \u201cI want her!\u201d Or, \u201cI want to go on the road with my rock and roll band.\u201d And nobody really thinks twice about it. And when it comes to women, we have a harder time talking about that. So for me, this record dealt with a lot of love as issues. Like with wolves. Like why can\u2019t that person step up and do what the wolves do and be my partner? Why can\u2019t I<\/em> step up? In \u201cRoad Song,\u201d it\u2019s like I want that\u2014I want what he has. And \u201cDurga,\u201d the last song, the lover is disappointed in the fact that her partner is not leaving his easel to tend to her needs. So like, all these little stories, these little snippets. Also, there\u2019s this song called \u201cBlack\u201d that\u2019s a really small song where I just talk about going to a dark place. As women, especially as mothers, we\u2019re not allowed to talk about wanting to go to a dark place. We\u2019re supposed to just keep it together and lay low, so I think I was dealing with a lot of those questions on the record.<\/p>\n

That makes a lot of sense. \u00a0There is that weird expectation, especially with a mother, if you say anything is wrong, people are like, \u201cShe can\u2019t handle motherhood.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Exactly! I was even worried, like what are people going to think? She wrote this record about her son? It\u2019s like what I was dealing with, and people were doubting me. It\u2019s because<\/em> I wrote a record that I was able to mother him. We\u2019re so judgmental. And women are the worst!<\/p>\n

I read a quote recently, a female filmmaker had a really bad interview where she had a movie come out and the interviewer kind of bashed her, and it was a fellow female. And she wrote an open letter defending her films, and in it she said, there\u2019s a famous quote, I forget who said it: \u201cThere\u2019s a special place in hell for women who don\u2019t support other women.\u201d I love<\/em> that. All about the sisterhood!<\/p>\n

Definitely. So since you feel you\u2019re kind of switching genres, is there any genre that you now feel like you fit into better?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I definitely was sort of occupying\u2014I mean, I was told<\/em> I was occupying more of a freak folk, folky, flower crowns thing. And I love a flower crown, but I really want to be moving more into just singer\/songwriter. And someone like Natalie Merchant is incredible, as sort of the godmother of this sort of genre. People that I normally look up to in my own sort of circle. Also, Adler is incredible; I love her stuff. She\u2019s somebody who made really spooky folk music and is now sort of standing her sound. I see this in a lot of my peers. Merchant has really taken off, which is so good for all of us, but I see it in our circle, and we are really moving away from the pigeonhole of \u201cgirl with a guitar.\u201d And I still, I mean, it\u2019s so clich\u00e9, but I still hear in interviews or after shows, \u201cOh my God, you were so incredible. I can\u2019t believe you play your own instruments!\u201d It\u2019s just wild. That still exists.<\/p>\n

Y<\/b>ou\u2019d think we\u2019d moved away from that already<\/strong>.\u00a0So is there any specific song that you feel more of a connection with than the others?<\/strong><\/p>\n

My favorite song on the record\u2014I mean, I have a couple\u2014but there\u2019s this song called \u201cStars,\u201d it\u2019s the fourth song, that I really love because it was just such an example of my escaping. It was a memory of being on the road, and I talked about being by the Rockies and the clear skies and the sadness I felt because I was so trapped as I was writing it. I really love that song. The line is, \u201cSometimes the sky throws a handful of stars in your way.\u201d For me that sort of sums up the whole thing: that life really takes these crazy, wild turns, but you can really get through them in a magical way if you consider the circumstances with the same wonder and curiosity as you would a good situation. So I really tried to do that during my son\u2019s crisis. And people would say during it, \u201cHow are you so together? How are you so cheerful?\u201d And I would just wake up every day and I\u2019d wash my face and I\u2019d put on a nice dress and try to make everything look nice and do my best and have the same curiosity toward a bad day as you would a good day, which sounds really Pollyanna, but it really takes fucking guts. And I\u2019m in awe of some of the people who really inspired me to summon up the wolf woman. The she-wolf.<\/p>\n

That sounds amazing. What do you have planned for the future right now?<\/strong><\/p>\n

So we\u2019re releasing Wolves<\/em> in July, and I\u2019m really only playing a limited amount of shows just because I\u2019m with my kids right now and the logistics of three-year-old twins. I don\u2019t know, I am a bit of an overachiever, but I have to sort of draw the line. I\u2019m still going to do what I can to share the songs with the world. And I\u2019m actually beginning the next record, which will be a full-length record. I\u2019m really excited about that. And also, I\u2019m writing a book, basically about the whole experience.<\/p>\n

If you could perform at one venue, existent or nonexistent, which one would you choose?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh my gosh. One venue. As a New Yorker, I would kill to perform at the Beacon. That\u2019s a real dream of mine. Or Carnegie Hall.\u00a0<\/strong>I saw Suzanne Vega do something there a few years ago, and she couldn\u2019t help herself and said, \u201cHow do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice!\u201d<\/p>\n

But my one regret is that, before becoming a mother, I didn\u2019t tour in Europe. And I really look forward to doing that in the future. In particular, I just want to play in Paris. That would be a really happy, happy night.<\/p>\n

What besides creating music do you do as a hobby? Do you have anything that kind of forms your identity<\/strong>?<\/p>\n

Yes, so mother\/musician\/writer. I\u2019m quiet about my writing, just because music is so in your face. But I write and read constantly. I\u2019m a real bookworm.<\/p>\n

Do you have any musical milestones that you\u2019re working toward adamantly?<\/strong><\/p>\n

For me, the biggest milestone is that I\u2019d really love to have a label or a team behind me. I\u2019ve been doing this by myself for so long, and I\u2019ve never really found the right fit or didn\u2019t ask for what I wanted or didn\u2019t have that sort of fateful connection happen yet. And while I know those relationships can be very fraught, whether it\u2019s label or manager, I\u2019m really ready to put the proper team behind what I\u2019m doing simply so we can reach more people with the music. I want it to happen in a natural way, but I\u2019m just hoping I can continue to. And I\u2019m sort of coming back after a long time. And it\u2019s might be a bit of a slow ride, but I\u2019m realizing that my ambition is much greater than I ever thought it was. Again, another thing as a woman is that we\u2019re not really supposed to be like, \u201cI want to take over the world!\u201d But I really want my music to reach everyone<\/em>.<\/p>\n