Kiiara Discusses Her Career, Body Image, and Debut LP Lil Kiiwi

Photo Credit: Dennis Leupold

If you haven’t heard Kiiara’s name, you’ve almost definitely heard her impossibly catchy 2015 single “Gold,” where she sings confidently about nonchalantly exiting parties and leaving her ex in the dust. Since then, she’s released a remix of the song featuring Lil Wayne, the EP low kii savage, and several more singles and remixes, in addition to collaborating with Linkin Park on the song “Heavy.” On October 9, she’s releasing her much-anticipated debut album lil kiiwi, which includes “Gold” and 12 other songs she’s recorded in the five years since.

Previously shy about letting fans into her life, Kiiara’s goal with lil kiiwi — a title based on a nickname of hers — was to do just that. “Early in my career, I never really let people in,” she explains. “I wasn’t super transparent. I didn’t do a lot of interviews. I didn’t really feel comfortable answering questions because I didn’t know myself well. So this album is like, come into my world. Here we go.'”

True to her word, the album is as emotionally vulnerable as it is infectiously rhythmic, with lots of vocal warping and EDM effects. On the upbeat “Sick,” she condemns an ex who was too quick to move on, “Feels” describes dealing with “too much emotion,” and “Don’t Get Confused” tells off men who assume she’s interested in them. In one of the rawest songs, “Never Let You,” she gets honest about questioning her career path with lyrics like “should’ve never picked up that guitar.”

“Sometimes, I’m like, do I even know what I’m doing? Is this even a good song?” she explains. “I’ll call my friends, and I feel like a lot of my friends too will go through this phase: ‘I’m just gonna quit.’ And I’m like, what are you talking about? And we have to remind each other, ‘Look what you’ve done. Take a step back and look. You’re so zoomed in and looking at it up close, you’re not realizing how far you’ve come.'”

Self-doubt is something that’s plagued Kiiara throughout her career, not just with regard to her music but also with regard to her body image. “I was just trying to hide, and that’s why I didn’t do a lot of interviews,” she says. “Even when I performed, I just hated my face. It was not done purposefully — ‘I want to look like this or be mysterious’ — it was just that I was scared. Doing Lollapalooza was my sixth show in my entire career, so I was like, ‘I want to wear baggy clothing.'”

The 25-year-old Chicago-based artist describes having battled an eating disorder, sometimes not eating for days before music video shoots so she’d achieve the appearance she wanted. Seeing a nutritionist and a personal trainer helped her lead a healthy lifestyle and focus on health instead of weight. “I was like, ‘Oh, I need the energy, I need nutrition.’ No wonder I was so angry or moody early in my career — I wasn’t eating properly,” she remembers. She’s also gained confidence in herself as an artist by taking voice lessons early in her career.

A lot of the songs on her new album were written and recorded on the spot right in the studio. She collaborated with a number of producers and songwriters, including Ali Tamposi (who’s written for Beyoncé, Christina Aguilera, and One Direction) and Livvi Franc (Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Rihanna). “I’ve kind of stepped out and worked with a lot of people out of my comfort zone,” she says. “I would go in and I’d get there and be like, ‘This is what I’m going through, this is what happened, this is what was going on in my life,’ and then we’d just write about it.”

Even as her album comes out, she’s continuing to return to the studio and record new music, and she also has plenty of songs already recorded that she hasn’t yet released. “The past five years, I was in the studio all the time,” she says. “Some of the songs, I don’t even have on me — someone will send me them and I’ll be like, ‘I forgot about this.'”

Today, she’s approaching her work with increased confidence and self-forgiveness, with regard to both her music and her self-image. She recently realized how much progress she’d made when she appeared on camera despite feeling bloated. “[I thought] that’s how it is right now, and we’re going to deal with that,” she says. “I know I’m not perfect. Nothing’s ever going to be perfect. I have to accept myself at all times.”

Follow Kiiara on Facebook and Instagram for ongoing updates.

AF 2018 IN REVIEW: Our Favorite Albums and Singles of the Year

Here we are again! As the new year approaches, it’s time to look back and take stock of the albums and singles that defined this moment in music history. 2018 was an eclectic year, to say the least, and there are a lot of new names on the list: Tirzah, Snail Mail, Soccer Mommy, Noname, King Princess, and Kali Uchis all had phenomenal debuts this year, not to mention the inimitable Cardi B, who made good on the promise of last year’s smash hit “Bodak Yellow” with Invasion of Privacy in April. There were established artists who still managed to surprise us, whether in the form of unearthed Prince demos, The Arctic Monkeys’ loungey sci-fi concept album, Tim Hecker introducing us to ancient Japanese court music, Dev Hynes making his most personal Blood Orange record yet, or Lil Wayne finally dropping Tha Carter V. And then there are those artists who fall somewhere in between, their ascendant careers a thrill to watch as 2018 saw them finally hit their stride. US Girls. Yves Tumor. serpentwithfeet. And perhaps most spectacularly, Mitski and Janelle Monáe.

As each of our writers (and editors, too) created their own mini-lists, those were two names that kept cropping up, and there’s no doubt you’ve seen them on just about every year-end list on the interwebs. If there’s any chance you haven’t heard Be The Cowboy or Dirty Computer, by all means, fire up that Spotify Premium post haste. But the recommendations here are as diverse as our writers themselves, so we hope you’ll take time to explore some of the lesser-known, hardly hyped artists we’ve highlighted, too – and keep your eyes peeled for more year-end coverage as we cruise in to 2019.

EDITOR LISTS

  • Marianne White (Executive Director)

    Top 10 Albums:
    1) boygenuis – boygenius
    2) Soccer Mommy – Clean
    3) Nenah Cherry – Broken Politics
    4) Mitski – Be the Cowboy
    5) serpentwithfeet – soil
    6) CupcakKE – Ephorize
    7) Blood Orange – Negro Swan
    8) Autechre – NTS Sessions 1-4
    9) Snail Mail – Lush
    10) Cardi B – Invasion of Privacy
    Top 5 Singles:
    1) Let’s Eat Grandma – “Hot Pink”
    2) Jon Hopkins – “Emerald Rush”
    3) The Internet – “Look What You Started”
    4) Cardi B, Bad Bunny, J Balvin – “I Like It”
    5) boygenius – “Bite The Hand”

  • Lindsey Rhoades (Editor-in-Chief)

    Top 10 Albums:
    1) Low – Double Negative
    2) US Girls – In A Poem Unlimited
    3) Madeline Kenney – Perfect Shapes 
    4) Yves Tumor – Safe In The Hands of Love
    5) DJ Koze – Knock Knock
    6) Caroline Rose – Loner
    7) Tim Hecker – Konoyo
    8) Virginia Wing – Ecstatic Arrow
    9) Frigs – Basic Behaviour
    10) bedbug – i’ll count to heaven in years without seasons
    Top 10 Singles:
    1) Janelle Monáe – “Make Me Feel”
    2) Loma – “Black Willow”
    3) The Breeders – “All Nerve”
    4) SOPHIE – “Is It Cold In The Water?”
    5) Jonathan Wilson – “Loving You”
    6) Empath – “The Eye”
    7) Sibile Attar – “Paloma”
    8) Jono Ma & Dreems – “Can’t Stop My Dreaming (Of You)”
    9) Shopping – “Discover”
    10) Ed Schrader’s Music Beat – “Dunce”

  • Mandy Brownholtz (Social Media)

    Top 5 Albums:
    1) Miserable – Lover Boy/Dog Days
    2) Snail Mail – Lush
    3) Mitski – Be The Cowboy
    4) Teyana Taylor – K.T.S.E.
    5) Janelle Monáe – Dirty Computer
    Top 3 Singles:
    1) Nothing – “Blue Line Baby”
    2) Hinds – “The Club”
    3) Mitski – “Nobody”

  • Lauren Zambri (Events)

    Top 5 Albums:
    1) Amen Dunes – Freedom
    2) US Girls – In A Poem Unlimited
    3) Beach House – 7
    4) Iceage – Beyondless
    5) Tirzah – Devotion
    Top 5 Singles:
    1) Jenny Hval – “Spells”
    2) US Girls – “Velvet 4 Sale”
    3) Yves Tumor – “Licking An Orchid”
    4) Amen Dunes – “Believe”
    5) Low – “Always Trying to Work it Out”

STAFF LISTS

  • Ashley Prillaman (Premieres, AudioMama)

    Top 5 Albums:
    1) Alice Ivy – I’m Dreaming
    2) Sudan Archives – Sink
    3) Marlon Williams – Make Way For Love
    4) Earth Girl Helen Brown – Venus
    5) Rüfüs Du Sol – Solace
    Top 3 Singles:
    1) Rhye – “Taste”
    2) Alice Ivy – “Chasing Stars”
    3) Sudan Archives – “Nont For Sale”

  • Tarra Thiessen (Check the Spreadsheet)

    Top 5 Albums:
    1) DRINKS – Hippo Lite
    2) Shannon & the Clams – Onion
    3) Lost Boy ? – Paranoid Fiction
    4) Prince – Piano & a Microphone 1983 
    5) Sloppy Jane – Willow
    Top 3 Singles:
    1) Public Practice – “Fate/Glory”
    2) The Nude Party – “Chevrolet Van”
    3) Big Bliss – “Surface”

  • Natalie Kirch (Pet Politics)

    Top 10 Releases Out of the Brooklyn DIY Scene (in Chronological Order):
    1) THICK — Would You Rather? (Self-Released)
    2) BODEGA — Endless Scroll (What’s Your Rupture?)
    3) Baked — II (Exploding In Sound)
    4) Pecas — After Dark (Broken Circles)
    5) Big Bliss – At Middle Distance (Exit Stencil Recordings)
    6) Kevin Hairs — Freak In The Streets (GP Stripes)
    7) PILL – Soft Hell (Mexican Summer)
    8) Stove – ‘s Favorite Friend (Exploding In Sound)
    9) Lost Boy ? – Paranoid Fiction (Little Dickman Records/ Rich Moms)
    10) Janet LaBelle – I Only See You (Loantaka Records)

  • Sara Barron (Playing Detroit)

    Top 5 Albums:
    1) Kali Uchis – Isolation
    2) Blood Orange – Negro Swan
    3) Cardi B – Invasion of Privacy
    4) Mitski – Be the Cowboy
    5) Noname – Room 25
    Top 3 Singles:
    1) Ama Lou – “Tried Up”
    2) Britney Stoney – “OD”
    3) Janelle Monáe – “PYNK”

  • Luci Turner (Playing Atlanta)

    Top 5 Albums:
    1) The Arctic Monkeys – Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino
    2) The 1975 – A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships
    3) Charles Bradley – Black Velvet
    4) Brandi Carlile – By The Way, I Forgive You
    5) Jack White – Boarding House Reach
    Top 3 Singles:
    1) The Raconteurs – “Now That You’re Gone”
    2) Mac Miller – “2009”
    3) Dead Naked Hippies – “Rare”

  • Victoria Moorwood (Playing Cincy)

    Top 5 Albums:
    1) Cardi B – Invasion of Privacy
    2) Lil Wayne – Tha Carter V
    3) J. Cole – KOD
    4) Preme – Light of Day
    5) Jazz Cartier – Fleurever
    Top 3 Singles:
    1) Lil Wayne feat. Reginae Carter – “Famous”
    2) Cardi B – “Thru Your Phone”
    3) J. Cole – “Brackets”

  • Desdemona Dallas

    Top 5 Albums:
    1) Noname – Room 25
    2) Flatbush Zombies – Vacation In Hell
    3) Mountain Man – Magic Ship
    4) Lucy Dacus – Historian
    5) Nao – Saturn
    Top 3 Singles:
    1)  Janelle Monáe – “Make Me Feel”
    2) Twin Shadow – “Saturdays”
    3) Sudan Archives – “Nont For Sale”

  • Erin Rose O’Brien

    Top 5 Albums:
    1) Mitski — Be The Cowboy
    2) Antarctigo Vespucci — Love in the Time of E-mail
    3) Car Seat Headrest — Twin Fantasy
    4) Soccer Mommy — Clean
    5) Janelle Monáe — Dirty Computer
    Top 3 Singles:
    1) Bad Moves — “Cool Generator”
    2) The Beths — “Future Me Hates Me”
    3) Miya Folick — “Stop Talking”

  • Ysabella Monton

    Top 5 Albums:
    1) Mitski – Be The Cowboy
    2) Janelle Monáe – Dirty Computer
    3) Brockhampton – Iridescence
    4) Soccer Mommy – Clean
    5) Cardi B – Invasion of Privacy
    Top 3 Singles:
    1) King Princess – “1950”
    2) Childish Gambino – “This is America”
    3) Pusha T – “If You Know You Know”

NEWS ROUNDUP: Celine Dion Accused of Satanism, New Music from Grimes, Neil Young + More

Celine the Satanist

What do Robert Johnson, Black Sabbath and Celine Dion all have in common? They have all been accused of devil-worship. This week, Dion has joined this category thanks to comments made by priest and exorcist Msgr. John Esseff. Dion hasn’t visited the crossroads or beheaded any doves. She’s launched a gender neutral children’s clothing line with Nununu, called CELINUNUNU. Essef is “convinced that the way this gender thing has spread is demonic” and believes “the devil is going after children by confusing gender.”

I always thought that pants were a basic gender neutral clothing item, but Essef doesn’t seem to have a vendetta against women wearing pants so much as he wants his followers to buy into the myth that both gender and sex are binary, rather than a spectrum. With a color palette that eschews typical blue and pink, Dion hopes to “inspire your children to be free and find their individuality through clothing.” Do uselessly small women’s pant pockets enforce gender norms? Personally, I’m just hoping the kids from her target audience will grow up to design a pair of adult gender-neutral pants with pockets that can actually hold stuff; til then, I’ll feel a little more rock n’ roll  when “My Heart Will Go On” gets stuck in my head.

The New New

Grimes released a track called “We Appreciate Power,” inspired by North Korea and AI. Phoebe Bridgers released a cover of McCarthy Trenching’s “Christmas Song” featuring Jackson Browne. Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne released a music video for “Good Form.” Neil Young released “Songs For Judy, a collection of live acoustic recordings from 1976.

End Notes