Poetry Provides Creative Spark Behind Latest Gemma Laurence Single “Adrienne”

Photo Credit: Beatrice Helman

On a recent Zoom call, Gemma Laurence reads an excerpt from “Poem II,” part of the late poet Adrienne Rich’s series, “Twenty-One Love Poems.” She then comments on the line “and I laugh and fall dreaming again/of the desire to show you to everyone I love.”

“I just read that and was like, oh man, how lovely and magical is it to just realize that you like somebody and also like them so much that you want to show them to everybody you know,” she says. “I love that comparison.” 

In the midst of the pandemic, when Laurence was back at her childhood home in Brunswick, Maine, passing the time by reading books, she stumbled across the poem inside Rich’s collection, The Dream of a Common Language. Years ago, a date had introduced her to the poet’s work and to this book. It was a significant event in Laurence’s life. “That was one of my first queer dates, where I realized that I was bi or queer,” she explains. “It changed my entire perspective, reading that book of poetry and also meeting that person.” 

Rereading Rich reminded her of that moment and inspired her single, “Adrienne.” It’s Laurence’s first release since her 2019 debut album, Crooked Heart, and the first song where the folk singer, now based in Brooklyn, has opened up about her sexuality. “It’s funny because it’s not an explicitly celebratory ‘I’m out’ song,” says Laurence. “It’s just a song that happens to be about a girl and that, in itself, feels important for me.”

“Adrienne” marks a turning point in Laurence’s growing body of work for more than the subject matter. Her 2019 LP Crooked Heart, which takes its title from WH Auden’s poem “As I Walked Out One Evening,” was comprised of songs that Laurence wrote roughly between the ages of 15 and 20. “They felt a little bit more reactive. Something would happen and I would write a song about it,” she says. Conversely, she describes “Adrienne” as “more nostalgic and retrospective and reflective.” 

Laurence attended Middlebury College in Vermont, where she wrote her thesis on representations of Sappho in poetry of the 19th century. While she considered going onto graduate studies in Victorian literature (and still may do that someday), her immediate goal after graduating in February 2020 was to move to New York. The COVID-19 pandemic, though, temporarily changed her course. Laurence headed back to Maine, where she would live for the next seventeen months, assuming that her musical pursuits would be on hold until the situation improved. However, her time back in Brunswick proved to be creatively inspiring. “Just letting myself sit and take care of myself and my family, given everything that was going on, actually gave me more space to be creative,” she says. Laurence wrote more and kept up with her journal, all of which led to songs. 

She also developed a practice of going for morning walks and making field recordings. “I live in this really lush tree-lined area on the coast and so I’d walk down to the water, past all these farms and through all these forests,” she says. Laurence would use her phone to record the sounds of rainfall and what she describes as the “morning choir” of birds, which she then used on demo recordings. Bits of the field recordings used in the demo of “Adrienne” remain in the song. 

Meanwhile, Laurence had connected with a few musicians online who would become pivotal in helping her hone her sound. She took banjo lessons during the pandemic with Steve Varney, who plays in Gregory Alan Isakov’s band, and workshopped “Adrienne” with him. She met Charlie Dahlke, of the band The Brazen Youth, who recorded, produced and mixed the song. 

“I wrote it alone and I thought that I was going to record it on my laptop,” says Laurence of “Adrienne.” But she had the opportunity to work with Dahlke, as well as Jess Kerber, who sings backup on the track, and Matt Phillips (pedal steel) and Will Orchard. “I had never worked with that many musicians before. On my previous album, I recorded with just one other person in a live take and put it out on the internet,” she says. “This felt like a really big step for me to break it down, make it more of a process, bring people on board, be very intentional about the arrangement.”

Still, when Laurence was working on her latest batch of songs, more of which she hopes to release in 2022, she took some alone time to perform “Adrienne.” 

“I wrote the song initially alone, and it’s a very introspective, nostalgic, tender, intimate, quiet, personal song, so everyone kind of left the studio when I recorded it,” she says. “It felt really quiet and lovely to put all these blankets around me when I recorded it, to make it super cozy and have more of a soft, muted effect from the nylon string guitar that I was recording on.”

In June, after she was vaccinated, Laurence moved to Brooklyn and, so far, things have been going well for her. She’s debuting “Adrienne” live at Piano’s this Saturday, October 16 with a brand-new band, and has a show lined up at at The Broadway on November 19th as well. She says, “Everything feels like it’s finally starting to happen.” 

Follow Gemma Laurence on Instagram and Facebook for ongoing updates.

Sarah Hollins Reframes Queer Anthems with Personal Coming Out Story on “Starlight”

Los Angeles-based nondenominational megachurch Mosaic has a storied history in how it handles LGBTQ+ issues. Many queer individuals have professed an inviting and warm environment ─ but for singer-songwriter Sarah Hollins, and countless others, the experience was downright toxic. “[My friends and I] personally witnessed or experienced homophobia, lack of inclusivity, and ostracizing from members within the church and felt obligated to speak up about it,” the New Jersey native tells Audiofemme.

Last summer, Hollins participated in an episode of Refinery29’s “State of Grace,” a series which analyzes faith and identity. She was not publicly out at the time, but the decision to bare her heart on-camera is truly an act of bravery. “It was honestly really terrifying, and I didn’t know how my family was going to handle it. Even though it was so scary and stressful to come out in such a public way, I’m so glad that I did it,” she says. “It kickstarted a whole year of change for me, including my first relationship with a girl that I was able to lead in my public life.”

Like so many before her, Hollins held her secret tightly in her heart for a very long time. It was a long, winding journey she needed to take, and only now has finally discovered new-found peace. “So many people – even past therapists – over the years told me that I would feel so much better once I came out and that I would feel a huge weight lifted, but the fear of coming out kept me closeted for a long time,” she offers. “I have to say, they were definitely right.”

“Obviously, it’s not always safe for everyone to come out, and I definitely recognize the privileges I had of having a support system and relatively minor pushback from my family,” she continues, “but I would really recommend coming out. I’m such a happier person, and so many people who’ve known me my whole life have told me it’s the first time they’ve seen me truly happy and joyful.”

Her new song “Starlight,” premiering today, arrives with tremendous emotional baggage. “They all said it couldn’t ever feel like this / They all said it’s only hers and his,” she sings, her voice gliding through fuzzy electric guitar. “They all said I’m dead or better off that way / If my stupid head fell in love with her pretty face.”

The first stanzas examine her deep-rooted fears of harassment and abuse, and the melancholic chords evoke her psychological anguish. While concealing her own identity, Hollins “always stood up for queer people in smaller circles, like church youth groups, but was fearful to talk about my feelings because the conversations were so hostile,” she recalls.

She recalls one example from 2009, when renewed conversation around lesbianism, as Hollins knew it, had been reignited courtesy of Katy Perry’s hit debut single “I Kissed a Girl.” “I remember, my senior of high school, a lesbian at our school cut her hair and brought her girlfriend to prom, where she wore a suit,” Hollins remembers. “That brave girl was ridiculed by most of the school, and it really shamed me and scared me further into the closet. I was too scared to explore my sexuality until college.”

Still, “Starlight” expands well beyond the scope of Hollins’ own experiences. “They all punched us on the city bus / They’d rather hurt us than let us love / They all strung us to the metal fence / Told our families they’re better off / never seeing us again,” she warbles on the third verse, referencing the 2019 London bus attack against a lesbian couple and the 1998 brutal slaying of Matthew Shepard.

“Since the first part of the song talked about my experience coming out and the homophobia surrounding that, I wanted to use the last verse of the song to show what happens to queer people in society when they experience homophobia and when our society fosters environments that perpetuate it,” she explains. “I learned about Matthew when I was 14, thanks to a local production of The Laramie Project play, and I could never forget about what happened to him, how they attacked him, tied him to a fence, and left him to die. I wanted to use an incident from the ‘90s and an incident from the past few years to show how the queer community is still experiencing violence and hatred just for being themselves.”

Hollins wrote “Starlight” last September. At the time, she and her girlfriend had been planning holiday travel for Thanksgiving but soon discovered the family members hosting dinner were outright homophobic. “I didn’t want to subject my girlfriend and I to their hatred. The song sort of poured out of me and helped me work through my feelings about their homophobia – and some of the internalized homophobia and shame I had held in for years,” she says. “It helped me talk about how I was feeling at the time about my family, the church, and church communities I had left behind, and it helped me look back at how I’d always been closeted, even from a very young age.”

Musically, the four-minute song reframes classic ‘80s guitar tones (think The Cure and Springsteen), often made through a JC-22 amp, for a queer new context. “Those tones have been typically used for a lot of straight male stories, especially throughout the ‘80s. I think it’s fresh to use those tones to tell a queer story and prove that a song about queer people can be just as anthemic,” she says. “We have so many queer ‘bops’ and songs that are used to party at Pride, and while those songs are great and really help our community feel bright and joyful, I think it’s also useful to have cathartic songs that let us cry and talk about the hardships surrounding being queer.”

With guitarist and friend Taylor LeBowe, Hollins was able to flesh out her initial chord progression; layered harmonies and grander guitars were added much later. Mark McKee joined in to engineer the song to really underscore not only the emotional thread but the rich musical depth.

As heavy as it is (and needed to be), “Starlight” is also a celebration of hope, love, and freedom. “I fell in love with my girlfriend, and our love was worth coming out for,” Hollins says. “I wasn’t necessarily able to come out for me, but I could definitely come out for her. This song is actually the first song I’ve produced myself, and it’s the first song I’ve released that talks about my bisexuality.”

“The chorus really expresses the resilience of queer people and queer love – our deep desire and call to be ourselves is something we wish for so desperately that we will sacrifice everything for the chance to be our true selves. Our love is so pure, so beautiful, so magical, so life changing, that we will risk everything for it,” she says. “We’ll risk being disowned by family members, having to live a life alone, and with no familial support, homophobia and ostracizing from society, violence and hate. It’s all worth it because our love really is true and real and right.”

Since the release of 2018’s debut EP Heartbeat, Hollins has entered a creative renaissance these days, allowing herself to “write rock and guitar based songs that really inspire me and allow me to lean on my strengths as a songwriter,” she says. “I’m not putting myself into any sort of musical box, but I’m also learning which tools and paintbrushes really feel more like my signature or go-to sonic aesthetic.”

Another new, as-yet-unreleased song called “Catholic Guilt” leans more funky but still feels like a natural extension of her voice. “I’ve gotten a lot better at guitar over the past few years, and I’m really excited to utilize it as a foundation for these new songs I’m working on,” she says. “I think it’s really exciting to hear more and more music made by people using real instruments in a room together. Those organic elements feel so much more exciting and are way more interesting to hear people use at live shows than a sea full of artists singing to backing tracks.”

In addition to her musical pursuits, Hollins recently enrolled in graduate school to earn her Masters in Library and Information Science, a decision born out of today’s troubling state of racism, bigotry, and white supremacy. “I want to find and exhaust all ways that I can be helpful to my community and to marginalized communities. I’m hoping to be able to do that through my music and through professional activism in the library field,” she says. “I think that it’s a time for everyone to ask themselves what else they can be doing for society and how they can really contribute to positive reform and change. I love writing and creating music and will continue to release my original art, but I also want to contribute in other meaningful and impactful social ways. I’m really excited to be a librarian by day and an indie-rocker by night.”

Follow Sarah Hollins on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter for ongoing updates.

PREMIERE: Montreal Hip Hop Artist Shades Lawrence Debuts “Turn My Head”

Shades Lawrence

Shades
Shades Lawrence / Photo by Stacey Lee.

We spoke to Montreal-based hip hop artist Shades Lawrence about her new single, “Turn My Head.” The queer love track rocks ’90s hip hop vibes and flips the heteronormative love song narrative. Shades channels her spoken word roots as she describes the butterflies surrounding a budding romance, assisted by Emma Maryam with soulful vocals. The single is part of a tantalizing lead-up to the release of her EP, Second Life, due out in June.

Besides her music, Shades has made a name for herself in Montreal for her ambitious efforts to provide platforms for female and non-binary musical talents, as well as for womxn of color. She regularly organizes and co-presents events for advocates of mental health, the women and non-binary artist showcase, Sister Singer, as well as a DJ night for black womxn DJs, called Sister Spinner. She also recently brought together the Lux Magna Festival, curated to highlight the creative talents of womxn of color.

As a lyricist who is in touch with the needs of her community and a dedication to being transparent in her work, Shades brings a fresh and necessary narrative to the music scene in Montreal and beyond. Listen to “Turn My Head” below and check out our interview with Shades for more details on the inspiration for the track, her upcoming EP, and her activism.

AF: Congratulations on your new single! Was it a specific relationship or story that inspired it?

SL: Thank you! Yes, “Turn My Head” is based on 3 [to] 4 different relationships that I progressed through. I thought for simplicity’s sake to combine similar experiences into one song and narrative.

AF: “Turn My Head” flips the hetero narrative normalized in most love songs. As a queer hip hop artist and a woman, how do you make sure your music stays true to you and what would you tell another artist or woman who’s feeling boxed into certain roles or stereotypes?

SL: I speak from my experience of life and tell stories that reflect my reality. I find it important to be as genuine and authentic as possible in the music I write and release. Additionally, coming from a mixed-race background, I’ve always almost intuitively avoided boxes and labels as much as possible, but at the end of the day, folks are going to have an impression of me that is based on their reality. So for me, freedom from stereotypes is about letting go of what I can’t control and focusing on my music and my art.

AF: Will there be a visual coming out for the song?

SL: A visual is in the works. Will keep you posted!

AF: Tell me a little bit about what fans can expect from your upcoming EP. When’s it coming out?

SL: My EP Second Life is coming out June 7th and it is a diverse representation of my influences. There’s a dancehall/Latin infused track that speaks of my origins; there’s storytelling aspects to another track. And there are songs that make a political statement, all with beats that are catchy. I am so excited for this release.

Shades Lawrence
Shades Lawrence / Photo by Stacey Lee.

AF: When did you start practicing spoken word and when did that evolve into your rapping career?

SL: I started practicing spoken word in early 2015. Emma Maryam, who is the featured artist on “Turn My Head,” was actually at one of my shows the second or third time I performed poetry. In 2016, I had a collaborative spoken word show called “Extreme States” with Carole TenBrink in the Montreal Fringe Festival. I thoroughly enjoyed that experience. After having put together a complete spoken word project, I realized that I love the interaction with music so much, so I decided to cross over to hip hop, which was one of my original passions from when I was growing up.

AF: You’re well-known in Montreal for your activism and events that empower women. Tell me a little bit about these events, what they mean to you, and how you hope to help others.

SL: Two of the events I’m currently involved in organizing are Sister Singer and Sister Spinner. Sister Singer is a platform to highlight womxn and non-binary musical talent based in Montreal. Sister Spinner creates dance parties that feature all black womxn DJs. I was also recently asked to curate a show for the Lux Magna Festival in Montreal. We chose to feature womxn of color in the lineup.

I am proud of these undertakings because I know that womxn and non-binary artists, especially of color, have so much to contribute to our cultural landscape. It is also important to create these spaces and feature artists from underrepresented communities, since it provides opportunities for growth, while also enriching audiences and the music industry as a whole.

AF: Who are some artists you look to for inspiration?

SL: The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill informed much of my youth. Lyrically, I would say André 3000. Content-wise and stylistically, currently I quite enjoy Shad (a Canada-based MC).

AF: Anything else you’d like to add?

SL: I am grateful for platforms, such as Audiofemme, that provide a space to share a bit of my process and the backstory behind the music.  Enjoy “Turn My Head (feat. Emma Maryam)” and thank you!

NEWS ROUNDUP: LGBTQ Love Songs, Cardi B & More

NEWS ROUNDUP: Gender Bending Love Songs, Cardi B & More

By Jasmine Williams

Wedding Dances For All!

What do Bob Dylan, Kesha, St. Vincent, Kele Okereke, Ben Gibbard, and Valerie June have in common? All six musicians contributed gender-reversed cover songs to a new EP called Universal Love. In the goal of providing wedding ditties for the LGBTQ community, the compilation reimagines love songs so that they feature same-sex objects of desires. Dylan substitutes she for he in “He’s Funny that Way” while Kesha, an ordained minister who has married two gay couples, transforms a song by her idol, Janis Joplin. Listen to “I Need A Woman To Love” below.

Cardi B’s New Album Drops

Cardi B was the undisputed break-out star of last year Her meteoric rise to the top was the result of a perfect storm of millenial money moves – a reality tv show, a massive Instagram following, a lack of filters (during a red carpet interview she told Guiliana Rancic that she had butterflies in her stomach and vagina), the ability to make everything seem candidly cute (even gang spelling substitutions), and of course, sick verses. Most importantly, she’s become the figurehead of a new feminist archetype: the bad bitch.

Today, the reigning queen of hip-hop is back with a new album. Invasion of Privacy is out now and despite many months of rumors and fake-outs, the LP’s release early this morning still managed to surprise fans – songs featuring her fellow slighted Grammy nominee, SZA, and Chance the Rapper are welcome, if unexpected, additions to massive hits like “Cartier Bardi” and “Bodak Yellow.”

Cardi will make cable history on Monday when she hosts The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. It will be the first time that the television staple features two MCs.

New This Week

The ladies own this week’s new releases! Audiofemme favorites, Zola Jesus, Tart, and Kim Anderson all delivered today. Earlier this week Zola debuted a new video in anticipation of today’s release of bonus and remix album, Okovi: Additions. Listen to Tart’s new track, “Like Lovers Do,” and check out Ashley Prillaman’s interview with Anderson on her debut album, Yarrow.

Azealia Banks debuted “Anna Wintour,” the first complete song off of her long-awaited album Fantasia II. We also heard new tracks from Washed Out, Rae Sremmurd, and A$AP Rocky this week. A$AP’s offering is a new “collaboration” with Moby. The techno pioneer doesn’t contribute anything new for the song “A$AP Forever,” but his late nineties hit “Porcelain” is sampled. Perhaps the credit marks a shift in the song-writing industry – “Blurred Lines,” anyone?

Coming Soon

With exciting announcements coming from various ends of the music spectrum, this week proves to be an exercise in delayed gratification. Live From Here, the variety show formerly know as A Prairie Home Companion, comes to NYC for three Town Hall Shows later this month, featuring Sufjan Stevens, Janeane Garofalo, Courtney Barnett, Neko Case, Father John Misty and more.

Sonic Youth legend Kim Gordon revealed the July 13th release date for Body/Head’s upcoming album.

The Coathangers, The Get Up Kids, and Arctic Monkeys also joined the promo parade this week: The Coathangers’ upcoming album LIVE condenses two nights of refreshingly raucous rock into one electric LP and is out June 1st; after a 7-year hiatus, The Get Up Kids debuted the first single, “Maybe,” from new EP The Kicker, out June 8th; coming off of a slightly shorter break, Arctic Monkeys spilled the details on their new album Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino, which is out May 11th and is the band’s first album in five years.

Last but not least, the indomitable Grace Jones gets the documentary treatment next week. For Bloodlight and Bami, director Sophie Fiennes was granted intimate access to Jones’ life and even trailed the boundary-pushing performer on a trip to her native Jamaica. You can watch the doc on April 13th.

A couple of days later, score tickets to see more music legends on the big screen. The Beatles’ Yellow Submarine will be back in theaters in celebration of the 50th anniversary of the film.

But for those who can’t wait for their next music film fix, Flatbush Zombies and The Shins both premiered long music videos this week. For even more clips, check out Desdemona Dallas’ column for Audiofemme, Video of the Week.